Australian PM’s Total Score Rises Four Points: One Point Per Adult Refugee

Four refugees from the Australian detention centre on Nauru arrived in Cambodia today for resettlement, increasing PM Abbott’s total political score by four points.

Asylum seekers, otherwise characterised as boat people, are a hot issue in Australia allowing political parties to score easy points during normal gameplay. As a general rule of thumb, the harsher the treatment towards asylum seekers, the more points are accumulated.

PM Abbott’s Coalition Government will now turn their eyes to the more difficult but higher scoring child refugee – granting a score of two points per child. The more difficult family combo move can give political gamers ten points in one hit.

The Coalition Government pulled a late shrewd move tricking the boat people into believing Cambodia is “rapidly developing”, has “all the freedoms of a democratic society”, a “high standard of health care with multiple hospitals”, and no “violent crime or stray dogs”.

“They believed it hook line and sinker even though our own Department of Foreign Affairs website states, ‘Health and medical services in Cambodia are generally of a very poor quality and very limited in the services they can provide’,” a government official said.

“This is too easy – we are going to clock this issue in no time.”