A commuter on a JR train sending a text message this week has indiscriminately detonated the vital organ of a man sitting in a priority seat.
The victim had attempted to confront the message-sender just before his left lung exploded.
“I looked up and there was a guy gesturing at me with an umbrella,” said the message-sender.
“I quickly finished my LINE message and pressed send, which instantaneously corresponded with a muffled explosion coming from the direction of umbrella man.”
The victim’s body was removed from the train resulting in a four-minute delay.
“It was absolutely awful, I was two minutes late to a meeting,” said one commuter who queued up to make his feelings known to station staff.
“How does someone’s lung blow up from a small electronic transmission, and why was he carrying an umbrella on a partly cloudy day?”
The family of the victim will be expected to pay around 100,000 yen for the disruption of public services by detonated organ.
This is perfect.